How people treat you is their Karma...

"How people treat you is their karma, how you react is yours..." - this quote is one of the biggest lessons I ever learnt from my favourite author Dr Wayne Dyer (1940-2015).

He played a very significant part in my life, my growth and in my journey as a self-confidence coach. Up until this day I refer to his quotes and books when speaking to my friends, colleagues, family and coaching clients. The news about his death back in 2015 hit me tremendously but I knew the legacy he left behind will live forever, especially through people like myself who continue to trust him and use the words of his wisdom.

The quote at the beginning of this blog speaks for itself. It plays an important part in my life and I am confident that when I explain why, it will also play a huge part in yours. I can, with a hand on my heart tell you I live by it every single day. Thanks to this, I always go back on myself if I realise that I may have behaved rudely or inappropriately, even if it means I have to apologise. 

The definition of Karma says: 

Karma (car-ma) is a word meaning the result of a person's actions as well as the actions themselves. It is a term about the cycle of cause and effect. According to the theory of Karma, what happens to a person, happens because they caused it with their actions.

If you read my last post about personalisation, you know that not everyone will have the same thought processes as you. Not everyone will meet your expectations, not everyone will agree with your point of view and not everyone will always have your best interest at heart. Other people don't hurt us, it's our expectations that do that. The main reason why I wrote the personalisation post was to bring your attention to the fact that if someone is speaking to you and triggers certain emotions, it's not their fault. You can blame them for it all you want however, how you respond is your responsibility alone. Any person you speak to may just not have the resources, the knowledge, skills or even the kindness to be able to read or understand the emotions or situations in the same way that you do. You also will never know what the person in question might be going through and what turmoil might be happening in their heads that's why it is so important to be mindful of your reactions no matter what is the situation. 

A friend of mine, Paulo, who works as a doctor at one of London hospitals told me a very touching story a few years ago. A story that touched me very deeply. I often recall it and talk about it as it is a reminder for me about how important kindness is. 

One evening before the start of his night shift, Paulo was at the hospitals coffee shop preparing for work ahead. As he was drinking his coffee and looking around he noticed a similar face in the queue. Turned out, it was the husband of one of the pregnant patients at the ward Paulo was working on. The husband looked drained, tired, almost lost. As he picked up his coffee, he turned around and walked straight into the person behind him, spilling coffee on the persons' shirt and shoes. It's fair to say that the man behind him wasn't impressed. 

"Watch where you going a**hole, you messed up my shirt!" 

Most of the people in the coffee shop looked around, the husband quickly apologised and walked away with a blank and very sad expression...

That evening, when doing his round, Paulo realised that the wife of the gentleman he saw at the coffee shop earlier was no longer there. 

When he asked about her, he was told that she was rushed to ITU after giving birth to her baby-girl six weeks early. The mum and the baby were both critical. Can you imagine what pain and uncertainty the husband must have been feeling at the time? Do you understand the distant and blank expression, sadness and lack of attention? I am sure you can sympathise and I am confident that if the person who used the A-word knew the situation, he would have behaved differently. Thankfully, both mum and the baby made a full recovery and were sent home a few weeks later. Their amazing recovery does not change the meaning of the story.

Everyone has a story.

Unfortunately (or fortunately) we will never know everything about people we encounter daily and this is where the kindness comes in. I cannot stress enough how important kindness is, not only to everyone around us but to ourselves too. We cannot forget that self-love is important in this. 

I am not telling you to take everything that's thrown at you and ignore it, or let people use you or abuse you and wait for the Karma to find them. I am asking you to make a distinction between what's personalisation and what's not. You will always have a choice to walk away from a situation so if you have a chance choose kindness anyway. 

I choose to be kind even when I express my opinion to people who don't like it. I also fully understand that sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind, especially when it comes to those closest to us. I know sometimes kindness is not even an option however if whatever you choose to do is done out love, if it comes from a good place, if it comes from the heart, then trust me, it is kind.

If you want to explore more about Dr Wayne Dyer you can go to his website here.

Below are my top 10 of his quotes other than the one I mentioned above.

1. If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.

2. Go for it now. The future is promised to no one.

3. When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.

4. The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don't know anything about.

5. You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with.

6. Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice.

7. Abundance is not something we acquire. It is something we tune into.

8. When you dance, your purpose is not to get to a certain place on the floor. It's to enjoy each step along the way.

9. Doing what you love is the cornerstone of having abundance in your life.

10. You cannot always control what goes on outside. But you can always control what goes on inside.

I could think about 100 others but I would like you to explore them by yourself, through your own research!

As always, with love and light,

Mags x